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11. Appreciation

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A Key to Happiness

Appreciation

 




 

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“A KEY TO HAPPINESS”

Appreciation

 

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Would you ever have thought that expressing appreciation has a boomerang effect and enhances both physical and emotional health? Read on.

 

Everyone has an inner desire for happy relationships. Nick Stinnett and John DeFrain published a classic study a quarter of a century ago[1] establishing the characteristics of strong, healthy families. One of the factors identified in strong, happy families was that of appreciating each other. In this chapter we will discuss the Appreciation Factor.

 

Research has found that strong, happy families

 

 




 

 
 

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Research has found “Strong, HappyFamilies”

·                   Aare spiritual

·         Sspend time together

·         Hhandle crises well

·         Ccommunicate well

·         Aare committed to each other

·         Aappreciate each other

Are spiritual

    Spend time together

    Handle crises well

    Communicate well

    Are committed to each other

    Appreciate each other

 

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Research has found that strong, happy families

·Aare spiritual

·Sspend time together

·Hhandle crises well

·Ccommunicate well

·Aare committed to each other

·Aappreciate each other

 

Building your Taj Mahal

There are many ways to show appreciation. One way is described in an old love story from India.

 

 

 




 

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A love story from India

Emperor Shah Jahan deeply loved his wife, Mumtaz . . .

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Emperor Shah Jahan deeply loved his wife, Mumtaz. He valued and appreciated Mumtaz, for she was the joy of his life. It seemed that all the subjects of the kingdom knew that the royal couple shared a unique love for one another. Mumtaz was truly the pride of the palace and of Shah Jahan.

 

But tragically, their life together lasted only nineteen years. Mumtaz died during childbirth complications, bringing deep sadness to Shah Jahan. During his time of sorrow, he planned to show how much he appreciated her love for him. As a tangible expression of his love and appreciation for Mumtaz, Shah Jahan built a magnificent tomb in her memory. It took twenty thousandworkmen workersmore than ten years to construct this wonder of the world, built with the most exquisite white marble and studded with precious stones. The Taj Mahal stands as a perpetual memorial of a husband’s love and appreciation for his wife.

 

 




 

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TajMahal

A memorial of love and appreciation of a husband for his wife

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Words of appreciation are building blocks in creating a lasting miniature “TajMahal” in the lives of our family members.

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Although you and I may never be able to afford to build a Taj Mahal to express appreciation to our husband, wife, or child, frequent words of appreciation are building blocks in creating a lasting miniature Taj Mahal in the lives of our family members.

 

Effects of appreciation

When we recognize a special quality in a child or spouse and tell them that we appreciate those qualities, it actually.

 




 

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Effects of Appreciation

   Enhances self-worth

   Makes one feel valued

   Improves relationships

   Diminishes anger and hostility

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Effects of Appreciation

·         Improves health and removes anger

·         Renews spiritual and personal growth

·         Promotes the freedom to be all that one can be

    Health improves when anger is gone

    There is healthy growth & spiritual renewal

    There is freedom to be all that one can be

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·Enhances self-worth

·Makes one feel valued

·Improves relationships

·Diminishes anger and hostility

·Improves health and removes anger

·Renews spiritual and personal growth

·Promotes the freedom to be all that one can be

 

Thebonding power of appreciation

 




 

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Effects of Appreciation

 

Acts and words of appreciation have a healing, bonding and building power

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Acts and words of appreciation have healing, bonding, and building power. One study on healthy, strong, happy families found that the members liked each other and kept on telling each other that they liked each other. The result was that they enjoyed being together. One family said, “When we are together, it is like we are celebrating or having a party. We enjoy each other so much.”

 

 




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There is strong evidence that family closeness is directly related to the effort of family members to genuinely express appreciation to each other.

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There is strong evidence that family closeness is directly related to the effort of family members to genuinely express appreciation to each other.

 

Hints on how to express appreciation

 




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Look for and recognize what is of value in others and then share it. Recognize Value of each Family Member

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Look for and recognize what is of value in others and then share it. When people sense they are valued, many times miracles begin to happen in their lives.

 




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How did I ever marry such an intelligent wife?”

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Surprise your spouse with a sincere compliment. One husband said to his wife, How did I ever marry such an intelligent wife?” to which the wife responded, “I don’t think of myself as really being intelligent, but I do enjoy hearing John you saying that. I am pleased that my contributions to our marriage are valued. Since I have never felt very intelligent, John’s your comment helps improve my self-concept.”

                                                                                  




 

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Diamond miners in South Africa spend their working lives sifting through 1,000s of tons of rock & dirt looking for a few tiny diamonds. Often we . . . do just the opposite. We sift through the diamonds. . . searching for dirt.”

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In our relationships we need to be good miners.[2]Diamond miners in South Africa spend their working lives sifting through thousands of tons of rock and dirt looking for a few tiny diamonds. Often we do just the opposite. We sift through the diamonds, searching for dirt. So start looking for the diamonds—the beauty in family members.Look for the things of beauty, the positive characteristics we value in family members, and tell them what they are. Their emotional love cups will be filled, and they will feel better about themselves.

 




 

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Recognize the Value of an Employee—

Appreciation encourages striving after excellence. When a person is appreciated and valued, he or she will try to do better. Appreciation is a positive motivator. It is a proven fact that appreciation encourages striving after excellence.

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4.Tell employees or fellow workers that you appreciate their work. It is a proven fact that appreciation encourages striving after excellence. When a person is appreciated and valued, he or she will try to improve and do better work. Appreciation is a positive motivator.

 

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Cause & Effect of Appreciation—Chain of Events

Tyree, an almost broke 16 year old, had 2 jobs during the Christmas holiday . . .

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Tyree, an almost broke sixteen-year-old, had two jobs during the Christmas holidays.She was exhausted and stressed out. It was Christmas Eve, but Tyree still had to purchase one more gift. Shelly, her kind manager, had encouraged her through many of her stressful moments at work. Tyree determined to get her something special for Christmas.

 

Tyree had only one more hour to work at the photo booth in the mall. It had been extremely busy all day, but when business slowed a bit, Tyree took a quick break to buy that last important gift for Shelly. But she found shops all around were just closing or already closed. Clerks were eager to get home for Christmas Eve. It seemed that Bby just one minute, Tyree had missed buying a gift. Disappointed, she started to make her way back to Santa’s Booth, the kids’ photo shop where she worked. She didn’t have much money, but Tyree did want to give something to Shelly to let her know how much she appreciated her.

 

While walking back dejectedly, Tyree noticed Nordstrom, an upscale store, was still open. She rushed in and dashed up to the Gift Gallery, but then began thinking self-consciously, Everyone is so dressed up here, and I am in my Christmas outfit. Who am I to think I can get anything here for fifteen dollars in such an expensive store? But she continued on.

 

A sales clerk asked if she could assist her. Tyree timidly said, “No,” and suggested she help someone else. But the kind clerk came back with, “No, I want to help you.” Sheepishly, Tyree explained what she wanted and why. Then added, “I just have fifteen dollars to spend.” That did not faze the clerk, who very thoughtfully selected a number of items for a lovely basket totaling $14.09. Though the store was closing, the clerk sensed the importance of the gift and asked, “May I wrap this for you?” It was Christmas Eve, and the woman must have been eager to get home to her family but was still there waiting on this young lady to make a last-minute purchase.

 

After Tyree thanked the thoughtful sales clerk, the clerk responded, “At the Santa Claus booth you have been bringing such joy to children and parents. I wanted to bring some joy to you.” Tyree was impressed. When she returned with a gorgeously wrapped basket with silver and gold ribbons, looking as though it cost fifty dollars, Tyree couldn’t believe it.

 

Back at Santa’s Booth, Shelly gasped. She was so touched to see her gorgeous gift that she burst into tears. It was the beginning of a good Christmas.

 

But that’s not the end of the story. Tyree, impressed with the kindness of the sales clerk, wrote to the Nordstrom store stating how much joy she had brought to her and her manager.

 

In January, Stephanie, the sales clerk from Nordstrom, called Tyree and invited her to lunch. Stephanie reported that she had been nominated for the Nordstrom All-Star Award list of employees. When the store announced the winner, Stephanie had won. The manager read Tyree’s letter of appreciation as Stephanie came to receive her award: a gold pen, one hundred dollars, a picture in front of the store, a new business card, and an opportunity to represent their store at a regional meeting. Tyree’s letter of appreciation was read also at the regional meeting, and Stephanie received a standing ovation.

 

The best part in the chain of appreciation happened next. When Stephanie told her father of her honor, he said, “Stephanie, I am so proud of you.” “My father,” Stephanie later reported, “had never in all my life told me that he was proud of me.” This was a chain of appreciation events, and her father’s was the best of all.[3]

 

Little things can make a big difference in bringing blessings, joy, and happiness to others. Think about how you can start an appreciation chain that will go on and on in a cascade of blessing to others.

 

Communicate appreciation often

Billy Sunday’s advice to husbands was, “Try praising your wife even if at first it frightens her.”

 

 




 

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Communicate Appreciation often

   Billy Sunday’s advice to husbands—“Try praising your wife even if at first it frightens her.”

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At a marriage seminar, couples were asked to individually write thirty-one things they appreciated about each other, one appreciation item for every day of the month. The husband wrote his list, and the wife made hers. When each completed their appreciation lists, they alternated sharing items with each other. As the couples shared, sparks of love twinkled in their eyes and delighted smiles lit up their faces. It was as if they hadn’t heard those sweet words for a long time. When the activity was finished, one wife expressed her pleasure.

 




 

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Communicate Appreciation often

It was like eating chocolate candy!   

 

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“Oh that was so wonderful! It was like eating chocolate candy! You wanted more and more and more.” She felt loved. He felt loved. And they both felt valued.

 

 

Charlie Shedd, a family educator, suggests that every day we tell our loved ones at least one thing we appreciate about them and once a week say something we have never said before.[4] To do this is a choice. It is rewarding, and it returns to us in unexpected ways.

 

A husband, with a twinkle in his eyes, reports, “There is magic in my house! I throw the dirty clothes where they are supposed to go and suddenly they show up clean and nicely folded in my chest of drawers. I come home after a hard day at work and like magic, my favorite food is on the table.” Is there magic in your house? If there is, don’t forget to tell the magician how much you appreciate it.

 

Paul’s family moved to Peru when he was a child. Paul recalls, “Times were hard.

 




 

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A true love story from Peru

“My father, a pilot and business executive, was starting a new airline . . .”

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My father, a pilot and business executive, was starting a new airline. He put all of his money into the business, and I remember frequently hearing, ‘We don’t have money for that now.’ One day he informed us children that Mother’s birthday was coming. He had saved a long time to buy her a bottle of her favorite perfume.”

 

“I’ll never forget the day we gathered in the kitchen and Father presented Mother with a beautifully wrapped gift. With trembling hands she unwrapped the small bottle and read the label. Delight and surprise were evident on her face. Then it happened. S, somehow, Mother dropped the perfume, shattering it on the floor. We all gasped in disbelief. Without a moment’s hesitation, Father knelt down, dabbed up some of the spilled perfume on his finger and gently touched it to Mother’s neck. Then he held her in his arms and kissed away her tears.”

 

“Four months later Father was killed in a tragic airplane crash high in the Andes. Though fifty years have passed, my father’s tenderness that day—and the high value he placed upon Mother—will remain with me as long as I live.”

 

How can I express appreciation to children?

 

 
 

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Children also need Appreciation expressed to them.“Love Notes.”

 





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A good way to express appreciation to children is by writing love notes on nice stationery or by texting.

 

One family wrote letters of appreciation to each member and then began to read them silently. Four-year-old Anna could not read hers, so her father took the notes from the other three in the family and read all the pleasant statements everybody had recorded about her. Anna became self-conscious as hweer father was reading these affirming messages and shyly bent her head, twisting her dress with her fingers as she carefully listened. She felt special.

 

When the father finished reading, she threw her arms around him and squealed, “Daddy, I love you so much!” She felt valued. Her emotional love cup had been filled.

 

As parents, we can build or destroy by what we say or do. Parenting isn’t easy. Many parents want model children and desire to train them “in favor with God and man.” If parents focus too much on a child’s wrong acts, they contribute to a poor self-concept. Correcting and teaching the child is essential, but if we focus on all the bad things they do, then they begin to think, I can’t do anything right, so why try?

 




 

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Children also need Appreciation expressed to themExpress appreciation for things well done.“Love Notes.”

 

Look for the good in your child and express appreciation for things well done. If correction is necessary, then, for each correction, express to him four things that you find the child doing well. Keep letting him know that he is special.

 

Learn how to receive appreciation graciously

                   




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Receiving Appreciation

We need to know how to receive appreciation graciously

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Four-year-old Jimmy came into the kitchen from out-of-doors. He handed a big bouquet of tulips of all sizes to Mommy. “These are for you.”

 

Mommy thought, Oh no! The tulip bed has been ruined. But she said, “Thank you, dear, for thinking of me. I love flowers inside and outside.” She chose not to discourage him from giving a love gift and tried to accept his small tokens of appreciation no matter what they were. This was her way of teaching him to be a giver and not just a receiver. Later, however, she mentioned, “Now let’s leave the rest of the tulips for others to enjoy outside.”

 

When someone expresses appreciation to you, how do you respond?

 

Benefits of expressing appreciation

Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a family therapist, noted that couples who look for good qualities in each other during the marriage therapy time resolve problem areas quickly.[5]That is why she calls this method “Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy(SBT)[6]Amarkets her program as being “Quick Therapy.” As they begin to look for the positive traits they appreciate about each other, they begin to feel better about their marriage. And then they are able to more quickly work through problem areas.

 




 

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What are the Effects of appreciation on those who express it?

Research—focusing on appreciation instead of disagreeable circumstances had a positive effect on heart function—Rollin McCraty

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Rollin McCratyMcCarty in his research stated that the heart generates a mysterious and powerful electromagnetic field that is amazingly affected by positive emotions like appreciation.[7]

 




 

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Appreciation is like a BOOMERANG

Give love and appreciation and they will come back to you.

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Appreciation is like a boomerang. When you give love and appreciation, they will come back to you. In the box below are Emmons and McCullough’s[8] list of eight of these boomerang benefits of expressing appreciation:

 




 

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1.      Had fewer symptoms of physical illness

2.      Spent more time exercising

3.      Felt better about life in general, were optimistic about upcoming week

1.   Less symptoms of physical illness

2.   Spent more time exercising

3.   Felt better about life in general, were optimistic about upcoming week

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4.   Felt more connected with others

5.   Felt more loved and cared for by others

6.   Were more likely to build and strengthen a sense of spirituality

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Boomerang benefits of to thoseexpressing appreciation:

1.Had fewer symptoms of physical illness

2.1.Spent more time exercising

3.1.Felt better about life in general, were optimistic about upcoming week

4.1.Felt more connected with others

5.1.Felt more loved and cared for by others

6.1.Were more likely to build and strengthen a sense of spirituality

7.1.Engaged in flexible and creative thinking

8.1.Coped better with stress and adversity

 




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Benefits of Appreciation7.   Engaged in flexible and creative thinking

8.   Coped better with stress and adversity

 

             -As given by Emmons and McCullough in Journal     of Personality & Social Psychology (2003)

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Benefits of appreciation in our spiritual lives

What are religious authors saying about the benefits of appreciation? One religious author who wrote extensively about families said,

 




 

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Religious Authors are saying

“If human beings would open the windows of the soul heavenward, in appreciation of the divine gifts, a flood of healing virtue would pour in.”

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“If human beings would open the windows of the soul heavenward, in appreciation of the divine gifts, a flood of healing virtue would pour in.”[9]

                                     




 

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What Does the Bible Say about Appreciation?

    The Story of the Ten Lepers

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In Luke 17 we read the story of ten lepers. These men came running to Jesus. They and asked to be healed. When Jesus healed them, only one returned to say “Thank You.” Jesus said, “Were not ten healed? Where are the other nine?” The other nine also must have been thankful, but they just didn’t return to the Healer to say “Thank You.”

 

The apostle Paul speaks often about appreciation, thankfulness, and rejoicing. Paul’s counsel to us came out of his own experience. Listen to these words: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God . . . for you.”[10]

 




 

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Paul on Appreciation

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you”

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Appreciation is related to emotional health. But it carries over into our family relationships, success in the workplace, physical health, service to others, and to our relationship with God and others.

 

Appreciation promotes physical and emotional health

Are you depressed?

 




 

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Appreciation Promotes Physical and Emotional Health

Depressed?

Prescription 1: Start thinking about others and showing appreciation to someone less fortunate than you are.

Rx: Start thinking about others & showing appreciation to someone less fortunate then you.

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Prescription 2: Make a list of things for which you are thankful. Read it daily, add to it often, and express thankfulness.

Appreciation Promotes Physical and Emotional Health

Depressed? Rx: Start thinking about others & showing appreciation to someone less fortunate then you.

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Prescription 3: Consciously dwell on pleasant topics and thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. The results will be like healing medicine.

Appreciation Promotes Physical and Emotional Health

Depressed? Rx: Start thinking about others & showing appreciation to someone less fortunate then you.

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Prescription 4: Restore the joy of laughter—look for the humorousPrescription 3: Consciously dwell on pleasant topics and thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. The results will be like healing medicine.

 

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Prescription 1: Start thinking about others and showing appreciation to someone less fortunate than you are.

 

Prescription 2: Make a list of things for which you are thankful. Read it daily, add to it often, and express thankfulness.

 

Prescription 3: Consciously dwell on pleasant topics and thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. The results will be like healing medicine.

 

 




 

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Norman Cousins on Benefits of Appreciation

Medical research indicates that positive emotions lead to biochemical changes in the body.

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Prescription 4: Restore the joy of laughter-—look for the humorous. In Norman Cousins’ book, Head First—The Biology of Hope,[11] he reports on medical research showing that positive emotions lead to biochemical changes in the body. Laughter stimulates our endorphins, which give us a feeling of well-being. Laughter, as well as expressions of love and appreciation, hasve a decided impact. The Book book of Proverbs speaks about happiness, which is a by-product of appreciation. It says, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.”[12]

 

So tThe bottom line is that we were designed to be grateful. The human constitution flourishes on gratitude and appreciation. Expressing appreciation to family members and others is not just a nice thing to do; it is a must for fostering vibrant health and good relationships. Receiving appreciation and affirmation is a vital part of physical, as well as emotional, well-being.

 




 

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A Challenge to You

Think of some positive actionsactinions you can do as tangible steps toward expressing love and appreciation:

Think of one specific way you can show your appreciation for each family member. Choose to take a tangible step toward expressing love and appreciation

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·Do an appreciative deed for each member of your family.

Write love letters.




 

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Lunch Box Notes

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Love Letters

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Surprise!

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·         Non-Birthday Presents

 

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·         Do an appreciative deed for each member of your family.

·Plan surprises!

·Give non-birthday presents.

·         Have a blessing service for each child.

·         Celebrate accomplishments or events.

·         Spend an evening hour or a family devotional time with each one sharing what they appreciate about each other family member. Start by telling Mom how much she is appreciated.

What are other ways that you have shown appreciation?

 

We’ll conclude this chapter with a story of appreciation that happened nearly two thousand years ago.

 

Love Ffragrance

                                                                                                                               




 

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The Alabaster Flask

A young woman entered a small shop, intent on buying some perfume. She had a special purpose . . .

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A young woman entered a small shop, intent on buying some perfume. She had a special purpose. She wanted to buy the best that she could obtain. The shopkeeper eyed her critically and decided she wasn’t wealthy, so he brought out something he thought would meet her needs. The fragrance was nice, but she asked, “Do you have anything better than this?”

 

“Yes,” he said, and, taking took something else from the shelf, “but it costs much more.” He opened it, and indeed the fragrance was delightful.

 

“Is this the very best that you have—the best in the whole store?”,she persisted. The shopkeeper turned and surveyed the shelf of imported perfumes, rare fragrances from Egypt, India, and faraway lands of the East. “I have one other,” he replied. “But it is very the mostexpensive. It comes sealed in an alabaster flask.”

 

He removed it from the shelf. Her eyes sparkled as she fingered the highly-polished alabaster that protected the rare essence of spikenard. It would take every penny that she had—300 pence, a year’s wages for a working man in those times.

 

“I’ll take it,” Mary was heard to say,said as she began to untie the knots that held her treasure of money within the folds of her robe. The exchange complete, she clung to her precious gift, whispering to herself, “Nothing is too good for my Lord.”

 

A few days later, at a special feast at Simon’s house in honor of Jesus, she suddenly felt moved to anoint Jesus with the rare essence of spikenard right then. Unobtrusively she broke the seal to the alabaster flask and poured the costly perfume on Jesus’ head and feet. Then Mary wiped His feet with her hair. She wanted to hide her act from the curious eyes of the guests, but there could be no hiding the fragrance. It filled the whole room.

 

Shortly after, as He Jesuswent down into the darkness of His great trial and crucifixion, when almost everyone forsook Him, Jesus Hecarried the memory of that sweet-smelling gift of love. Kingdoms would rise and fall. The memorials of the great men of earth would crumble into dust. But until time should be no more, that broken alabaster flask would tell a story of love, sacrifice,and appreciation, and love.

 

 

Jesus says that inasmuch as we do a good deed for the poor, the widow, the orphan,or the oppressed, and orthe stranger, we do it to forHim. It is as if Jesus is in disguise as a member of your family or a poor neighbor who seeks your aid. Maybe there is a spouse or a child who needs your words of appreciation.

 Are you willing to untie the knots, open the alabaster flask? Are you willing to apply the precious fragrance of love? Let its fragrance fill the whole house—your house.. The sweet perfume will bring healing and wellness to your hearts!

                                                                                                                               




 

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The sweet perfume will bring healing and wellness to your hearts!The Alabaster Flask

A young woman entered a small shop, intent on buying some perfume. She had a special purpose . . .

 

                                                                                                                                              

 




 

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 The sweet perfume will bring healing and wellness to your hearts!

 

The alabaster flask

Then untie the knots. Break the seal of the alabaster flask. Let its fragrance fill the whole house—your house . . .

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Today, express your appreciation to the ones you love. Maybe tomorrowit will be too late, as it was for 230,000 victims of the Indian Ocean tsunami, it will be too late. Tonight, tell your son or daughter how much you appreciate them. Tell your spouse how much he/she means to you. Open the “alabaster flask” of love and appreciation for the family, and let its fragrance fill your home.

 

 

 




 

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Graphic of praying handsPrayer

FatherGod, You’vetoldusourprayersrise up beforeYourthrone as sweetincense, so webelievethatourprayerthisday can be as fragranttoYou as Mary’sgiftthatevening so long ago.

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GiveusgratefulheartsforYourmanyblessings,andhelpustospend more time in ourprayersexpressingappreciationandnotjustaskingYouforfavors. Graphic of praying hands

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We, too, wanttoanointYouwiththethefragranceofourloveandexpressourcaringandappreciationtoeachfamilymemberandotherimportantindividuals in ourlife. Amen.

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Prayer

Father God, You’ve told us our prayers rise up before Your throne as sweet incense, so we believe that our prayer this day can be as fragrant to You as Mary’s gift that evening so long ago. Give us grateful hearts for Your many blessings, and help us to spend more time in our prayers expressing appreciation and not just asking You for favors. We, too, want to anoint You with the the fragrance of our love and express our caring and appreciation to each family member and other important individuals in our life. Amen.

 

Reflect/Discuss

 

 




 

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Reflect/DiscussGroup Discussion

1.      Think about a time when someone expressed appreciation to you that made you feel loved and valued.

Think about a time when someone expressed appreciation to you which made you feel loved, valued or important. Share with your small group.

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Reflect/Discuss1

2.      Recall a time when you showed appreciation to someone when it was not expected. How did they react?

Recall a time when you showed appreciation to someone when it was not expected, but it was very meaningful. Share how they reacted.

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Reflect/Discuss1

3.      What is the best way to teach children or teens to show love and appreciation to others?

Recall a time when you showed appreciation to someone when it was not expected. How did they react?

 

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1.Think about a time when someone expressed appreciation to you which thatmade you feel loved and valued.

2.1.Recall a time when you showed appreciation to someone when it was not expected. How did they react?

3.1.What is the best way to teach children or teens to show love and appreciation to others?

 

Personal Reflection

 




 

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Personal Reflection

1.            Is there someone who could benefit from hearing sincere words of appreciation from you? Could this have a healing effect on them? On you as well?Recall the most memorable appreciation anyone has ever shown you. Remember how it made you feel.

How could you teach children or teens among your loved ones to show appreciation?

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Personal Reflection

 What is the best way to teach children or teens to show love and appreciation to others?

Is there someone who could benefit from hearing sincere words of appreciation from you? Could this have a healing effect on them? On you as well?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.Is there someone who could benefit from hearing sincere words of appreciation from you? Could this have a healing effect on them? On you as well?

 

 

Intentionality

 

 

 

 

 

 




 

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Intentionality

1.I plan to show appreciation to several people this week.

2.My plan is to express words of appreciation to my wife/husband/parents/friends.

Make a secret list of appreciation-acts that you will carry out in the coming week. Report back the responses you received.

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r   I plan to show appreciation to several people this week.

r         My plan is to express words of appreciation to my wife/husband/parents/friends.





 


 

PowerPoint© Slide 48PowerPoint© Slide 43

Intentionality

I plan to show appreciation to several people this week.

This week I plan to express words of appreciation

3.tTo my husband, parents, friends

 

Slide43


 

 

     

 

 

AppreciationTips

·         Hide love and appreciation notes at unusual places in the house, car, lunch boxes, etc.

·         Give unexpected gifts of appreciation for work well done.

·         Call from work and say, “Thinking of you, dear.. . . .I am so thankful for you.”

·         Write a thank-you note to someone who influenced your life at a time when you needed it.

·         At devotional time, make a list of blessings that the family has received during the last week.

·         Recognize small steps of growth with a compliment such as, “You are becoming a good swimmer.”

·         Honor a family member for some accomplishment by allowing them to sit at the head of the table or by a love gift.

·         Visit an elderly person in a nursing home with a flower
arrangement and a love note attached.

·         Encourage children to show love and appreciation to family and others.

·Plan an appreciation act for every family member and carry it out.

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·        

 




 

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 “A KEY TO HAPPINESS”

The End

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[1]. Nick Stinnett and John DeFrain, Secrets of Strong Families (New York: Berkley Books, 1986).

[2]. Ibid.

[3]. Adapted from Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, Chicken Soup for the Soul (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 1998), 60–64.

[4] Charlie Shedd in a lecture presented at Andrews University.

[5]. Michele Weiner-Davis, Divorce Busting (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1993).

[6] . Michele Weiner-Davis, Ibid, 16.

[7]. Rollin McCraty, “One Minute Shift,” Youtube video, 1:15. May 12, 2009. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMQipX-hIDs. The measurable results of the heart’s powerful electromagnetic field are positively affected by emotions of appreciation/gratitude and are adversely affected by negative emotions like hostility.

[8]. Robert A. Emmons &and Michael E. McCullough, “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life,” Journal of Personality &and Social Psychology 84,  no. 2 (February 2003): 377–389. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377.

[9]. E.llen G. White, The Ministry of Healing. (Boise, IDMountain View, CA: Pacific Press, 19411905), 116.

[10]. 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18.

[11]. Norman Cousins, Head First: The Biology of Hope and the Healing Power of the Human Spirit. (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1989).

[12]. Proverbs 17:22.

 

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